life is grand

and why not? whenever I'm in the downs, I think of my nephew's laugh. He's 4 years old, still protected from the perils of reality, but today I thought, why would we want to lose that and say 'life is like that', 'oh life is hard', 'oh, it's difficult'?

Life is grand, and happiness is hard work if you think it to be. It took me a long while, but it is really simple. Just be. Really, that's it. 'argh, it can't be so simple, there's mortgage to pay, there's a job to find'... i'm not asking to shed the responsibilities, less so, but that to think that there is a roof over the head, there's time to write this blog, or more importantly, there is something that I can do about.

Life, is as grand as can be.

Choices

It is hypocritical to have grand visions and to try to reach out and save the world when the homefront is at stake.

Silver lining

The roller coaster ride ends here.

Spring does make a difference.

Hiatus

I have almost forgotten about this blog. Taking up a design studio eats up a lot of time, in between coffee, bagels, design lab, unhealthy fast food, slogans, photoshop, indesign, paceway.

That aside, I loved my trip back and is still hungover by it. I miss so much about home, and it is tiring to be this transient.

I need to dock soon.

The year in review

I have a sketching and drawing pad now.

sepet

I've never watched sepet, but the recent turn of events in which the film director suffered a stroke led me to weep through the show. This is the same brilliant person who reminded us we all are born colour blind and that families are important through the many heart warming Petronas ads.

Unfortunately, 2 days later, the director suffered a tragic fate and left the world. RIP.

Completing the cycle

Looked for materials on the net and found this eye that took up approximately an hour plus.

RIP MJ

1993, I went to the MJ concert with my dad, and we waited, only to be told some 45 min later that he was not well to perform. We went back a second time, hopeful, and then he appeared. It was my first music concert (the cameo by Tommy Page in Plaza Pelangi does not count), but yes, my first full fledge concert, and I went with my dad who promptly abandoned me midway because he wanted to better view.

I bet he was as excited as me to see the King of Pop. RIP MJ.

major-minor

my first concert at the opera house. amazing. loved the second set of tchaikovsky piano concerto no. 2. brilliant performance by stephen hough.

What is your story?

Just came back from uni. In an attempt to finish an assignment, I could not find a seat in the library and wandered off to the faculty building but was freezing my ass off on the uncomfortable stool and thought the postgrad room was too toxic what with the designers' glues and stumbled into a students' photo exhibition.

Most of the projects were very personal, one spoke of his 20-year-old friends, another of the anniversary prayers, and another with a portrait and close up of their deepest fears, together with a survey of what they feared the most. I like most of the works and the storyboard and creativity.

What is your story?

Healthy living

I found out last week that my housemate's friend has high blood pressure at the young age of 27 and the doctor told her that she has to change her lifestyle or else.. so she and my housemate decided to live more healthily from Monday (15 Jun) by cutting down on cigarettes (him) and salt (her) and wine (them). And the spillover effects were that our household has also decided to do the 1 month challenge because we have just been eating way too much and not exercising enough, me especially since the month of May has literally become a month of eat, sleep, assignments and exams. Totally unhealthy...

So... 15 Jun shall be day 1!

How do you destress?

Guess who is so stressed from assignments that she has to channel her energy to baking / cooking to destress... Hey, it's a step up from drinking coke / coffee.

(No, I only made the sticky date pudding cake - ma housemate didn't line the sides so the crumbs came off..)

Very simple breakfast...

Presentation

In the midst of discussing the presentation format for our report, a coursemate used the following analogy:

As shallow as it might sound, if a guy wants to 'kao' a girl, he will see whether she is pretty first, i.e. to be attracted first, before taking the next step in getting to know her, if there is no first attraction, no matter how good the girl is, he will not be interested in wanting to get to know her better.

I think it's not about being shallow, but in knowing and working with the hard truths.

Merci!

My housemates' folks are here for a week, and we just had a 3-hour dinner made up of 1 Malaysian and 5 Vietnamese (with 5 nationalities split between them - Original, German, French (ex-Cambodian), Australian) and 1 French. Dinner was a spread of oysters, sashimi, garlic bread, spring rolls, steak, wine and bubur cha cha - almost as diverse as the nationalities, no points for guessing who made desserts! 

My attempted conversation with the French granduncle were just hilarious. Even though we were seated next to each other, it went round the table starting with him him showing me his four-faced buddha pendant that he bought from Bangkok and then speaking to his wife (in French), his wife relaying to my housemate in Vietnamese, and then her to me in English before I looked back at him and nodded my head in delight. 

Despite the language barriers, the universal love for good food was shared. Dinner was great.

Time

I've been reading Time Magazine since I was 12. Although it's been an on-off relationship of sorts, I've always felt an affinity to the magazine, even though it is very US-centric. I don't however remember most of the writers as I am very much a content seeker. Today I picked up the magazine again and decided to resume the affair and pay more attention to its contributers. 

Image source: http://www.time.com/time/covers/0,16641,20090601,00.html

Overtime

My 5-min rule ran overtime last night and I just need to run to the top of a hill and release the balloons of angst. Constant reminder to self: Don't waste time whinging about things / people you can't change, analyse and acknowledge the risk before making any decisions and don't try to convince yourself the risk can somehow disappear on its own. 

My 5-min is up, another brand new day beckons. 

Image source: http://elissestuart.files.wordpress.com/2009/03/balloons.jpg

Soup

Yummy French Onion Soup...

I'm a soup person, and on days when things are rough, nothing beats a warm bowl of soup to remind you that things will only get better, just like the josh scene in the west wing (Yes, I quote a lot from the show, I think the writers are the most brilliant ones around and I miss such shows, and am severly lacking them in daily conversations). 

Again frustrated with the tennis syndrome (will not elaborate any further), but have to constantly remind myself that I have no one to blame for the (good and bad) decisions that I make. 

It is still very frustrating. On a happier note, French Onion Soup was great, and so was Italian theme night! 

Cookout

Yes, I realise that my blog has been rather dull. So the next best thing is just to put this: 

wagyu!

ma first spring rolls (okay, done together with da housemate)

da housemate frying da spring rolls

oysters in xo sauce grilled!

ta da.... 

I can't wait to finish....

You know you're in for the shits when you start saying 'I can't wait to finish 'insert activity'. 

Rhyme or Reason

Recently I've been addicted to 'R' words... recycling, resilient, ra-ra... no, that's not true, I don't have a favourite letter in the alphabet, oh, I do, it's 'J', for obvious reasons. I have 6 weeks to go before end of semester. 

6 weeks is like a magic number to me now since my urban planning venture. So I need to get through this. If May is the month of assignments and June is the month of exams, then July will be the month of decisions (Semester 2 courses, where next, travel plans). It's the cross-roads again. 

Home

I think I may be ready for a decision by Winter. 

Image source: http://dryicons.com/files/graphics_previews/winter_swirls.jpg

Work in progress

I was looking at my friend's photos which was set on a dark grey background and loved the effect, and so I'm still fiddling around with the colours / fonts on this blog as a break from my essay (again, I'm writing at a rate of one word per hour). 

I think the whole irony is this is an essay on sustainability and the rate I'm going, the efficiency of this essay-writing is killing more trees and emitting more carbon dioxide. But otherwise, it has been really interesting. 

Ghosts of past girlfriends

In a spur of a moment, because I cannot write another word on my essay anymore, I went off to watch a chick flick with my housemate. 

Call me shallow and what have you, I am past the phase of heavy weight films, having indigested a few doses of shows like revolutionary road and rachel getting married, which, yes, are thought provoking - I may have linked revolutionary road with automobile dependence and the whole concept of suburbanisation at an earlier entry - but gosh, I needed days to recover from the show. There are enough dramas in my real life, I don't need anymore from reel life. So yes, I now watch movies (not films) for relaxation. 

Matthew McConaughey was an absolute sleazeball, though I tend to like ahem, long-hair guys, that gay pirate look for so off. Storyline was predictable and half of this.

Anyways, I am absolutely flat out from my multiple attempts at completing the sustainable essay. And I'll be revamping this site over the winter holidays, gonna dig out those creative skills that I've been shelving for ages. 

Reason

只与有理的人论，不与无理的人争；有理的没有对手，无理的不是对手

This is so apt - took it from a friend's FB status. 

You Kara, I Oke!

Yeah! I get to sing my James Morrison song - You give me something. 

Over MSN:

Ex-colleague: I thought you didn't like to sing. 

My reply: I do, I prefer English songs and some Chinese songs. 

Truth be told: 

You need kakis to sing karaoke, someone that knows the song you're singing, and can boogie crazily with you. My karaoke sessions used to be with colleagues: mostly older ones, so have to sing the retro type: Teresa Teng, ABBA, Bee Gees and the like, and the younger ones mostly choose Chinese songs (Jay Chou, Sammi Cheng, Jacky Cheung and, oh crap, I can't name them). Anyways, the long and short of it, I've enjoyed some of the songs and the sessions have been fun, but I've never really sung a lot of my songs because they don't really gel with the people I go with. Maybe it's also coz I had to somehow maintain some level of professionalism, work mah...

Anywaylys, I've gone for two karaokes here so far, and it's been fun! I get to sing the songs and dance and just be oh, myself! Woo hoos, the crazy, dancing, ra-ra girl, as opposed to the uptight, only-sing-the-songs-that-people-know girl. And I get to sing James Morrison - I'm so in love with the song! Current favs (mostly for karaoke) also include hot n cold, who knew, love story, and there were even some high school songs (Read: Backstreet Boys - okay, it was more Uni for me). 

Yay! Back to essay now....

Just a thought

I've been brought up on a dose of wide streets for the grandeur of such boulevards, but so am I a fan of intimate laneways like those found in Melbourne. The 40' local street has always been debatable due to off-street parking by residents that one needs to meander around to reach one's detination.

And then I learnt about transit-oriented developments and walkabout cities; and Peter Newman and Jeff Kenworthy who talked about automobile independence. Personally, I am still two hearts about it because of the need for personal mobility, but I recall the design briefs for houses back home are always for dual parking, and then 4-cars parking would be highly marketable products. 

But what if you took that out of the equation, and increased your usable (Read: Sellable) area by eliminating that car park spaces, and then narrow the streets ==> walkable cities ==> increased density / public domain ==> increased net sellable area ==> profit. But really, maybe I'm being too simplistic about it, because there's always the public realm for activities to consider as well...but... isn't this walkable city a good way to make the enviros and developers happy?

Okay, this is just one layer of thought, there's still many other overlays, but this is a starting point, both sides just have to understand each other's points of view. 

Irony

Somewhere along the lines whether you're studying or working, there will be people who will say 'ar.. take a break', 'don't have to work so hard', 'why so stressed'...And then you are left with an 'F', or that you got a sounding from the boss. And then you looked around, and you are alone. 

Somewhere along the lines you meet a guy / girl, and there will be people who will say 'oh, he/she has a reputation' 'he/she is not reliable'. And then the person runs along and have a baby, and that guy/girl that you like ended up with someone who took the chance. And then you looked around, and you are alone. 

Somewhere along the lines you lowered your standards to make someone comfortable and then one day the person turned up with an LV bag and said, hey, where's yours? And you think, wtf, I knew LV long before you know how to spell Louis Vuitton. 

What I was really trying to get at is this, you can't let someone's values be imposed on yours, you have your own goals to pursue and your own standards to follow, and if you don't get it, then what? And if you lowered it, then what? You can't say, oh, I listened to someone, or that I wanted them to feel comfortable, because why then did you not listen to yourself or did it your way? 

Okay, I'm trying to distract myself from the 3,000 word essay due the following Monday. 

You make it real

Current obsession: James Morrison. 

The road ahead

A conversation on Tuesday's happy meal brought us to Tan Hong Ming, the cute chinese boy whose girlfriend is malay - a Petronas National Day commercial made by Yasmin Ahmad, an acclaimed storyteller, filmmaker, writer, advertiser in Malaysia on colour-blindness in children. The two Malaysians (me included) among us excitedly you-tubed to share it with our Hong Kong / Korean friends. Then I saw this and my heart broke. 

Happy assignment

It was a very enjoyable assignment - this round - building on each other's strengths. Loved it. 

Ingredients for a happy assignment: 

equal contribution, building on each other's strength, targets, accepting suggestions and holding onto your views, trials and errors, moving forward, working around each other's schedules, power of excel, decoding master powerpoints, trust, msn.  

I had an architect tell me that architects are the most difficult to organise and they often finish work last minute etc, but the two members in my team are architects and I worked well with them.  

It was a happy assignment and we finished off with a happy meal.

Awkward conversation

I shall stop engaging in awkward conversations with people from the past, even if they are on my msn list, unless I want to at some point see them in real life, otherwise it would be a waste of my time, and the weird position I'm put in. 

Conversations with God

I pray at home, I go to temples, that is as much as I do. I like the idea of a religious community, how some people grew up with friends they know from the community. But it would take a lot of me to convert into something, and I am happy just as it is now.

My perception of things is that opportunities are man-made and based on timing. If I pursue or don't pursue, if I get or don't get, it is up to me, and of course the context and circumstances of it all. I seem to sound cynical, but I have never actively pursued or searched.

I think it may also be due to my experiences with 'religious' people who have acted otherwise in spite of their faith, my dad's wake, charitable organisations, work etc. I think of it as being hypocritical. Yet sometimes I question, how do you then act within the confines of your faith?

So while everything else is going on, I'll just move on, in my own way. And I would appreciate if friends do not try to change my mind or tell me otherwise unless I am ready.

The Chi around you!

I just got off a conversation with someone who was just perpetually pouring cold water over what I've said. Is the person being realistic? being practical? being truthful? I dunno, but after a long while, such negative tactless speeches annoy the hell out of me, especially when they're not the experts and I seem to be channelling these less-than-positive energies into this blog! Farout, I'm polluting my blog with all the insensitivities, instead of the rara-happy thoughts. 

So anyways, I have an assignment due in 1.5 days and I am very calm about it. Oh well, I guess this comes with age - this zen approach - I need to look for more positive people to associate with! 

Dum dee dum...

1 more month

I just came back from home, but I want to go home. It's ultimate sianness and I just don't have the energy to go through another cycle again. blehs. 

okay, that's my five min. Back to assignments. 

taxes, reits and the lot

Have I turned into a commerce student already? My head is filled with all these figures, and am trying to break the code of them all. I should mind map the whole tax system related to property, and I immediately thought of this hillarious post: 

http://klaustoon.wordpress.com/2009/04/06/building-services-i-how-to-reserve-a-room-in-the-gsd-goes-wild/

Writing

I am in a writing mode, as opposed to doing assignments, rather than facebook, I've taken to blogging as a way to ahem, relax... But that said, I just wanted to say that my very short 6 weeks at the GSD was truly inspiring. I've never really talked about it, but I've learnt 

- to respect and appreciate the work of architects, especially architects like Dan Piteira

- that we are all deep down the same

- that it is possible to learn and create in 6 weeks 

- to wake up and be inspired to learn and absorb, and just be excited to attend classes (yes, how nerdy)

- to be environmentally more aware 

- to appreciate chocolate chip cookies (and that it is NOT a substitute for breakfast)

- Diet Coke ("DC") is addictive

- Macbooks are super light and should always be chosen over a heavy dell

- having a pink dell is so not the way to be popular 

- there are strange people walking around, e.g. girl in red bow

- that things that I don't do in my youth do come back and haunt me (e.g. drafting) 

- the wonders of google, wikipedia, planetizen, sketch-up

- that every city has its own issues, e.g. the big dig, the fort point channel

- that the departed was shot in South Boston 

- that urban sprawl and suburbanisation are not the way to go 

- how New Orleans was affected and that people who cared about their homes wanted so much to do something about it

- sometimes in a s***ty neighbourhood, people do want to do something about it but don't know where to start

- to sort out the recyclables 

- group work is tough sometimes

- that I have to make a decision and every stroke of a pen reflects your thoughts

- about transit-oriented developments

- precedents 

One year onwards, a little late on the entry, but I have to say it has been a great 6 weeks and I do appreciate what I have learnt. 

A break from CGT

Lately I was affected for days by what someone told me over lunch about how my decision had disappointed someone. It was stuck in my head for days, until I remembered how that period was marked one of the darkest in my life. Had I chosen to stay on just so not to disappoint someone, wouldn't I be letting myself down if I had then lost it all?

What then?

On a happier note: I have cracked the code of Capital Gains Tax!

What a mixed bag of Friday

I now allocate 5 min of my day to b****ing about things that irk me, just so I spend the rest of the 23hrs and 55 min being happy. It is impractical to assume perfection that there will be no complaints or disgruntles for any given day. 

So here's for today for what happened yesterday that I felt bothered and thought that it was spoiling my mood for the entire day, hence the 5 min limit. 

I used to 'fong fei kei' quite a bit, and though it was unforgivable, I found that it is actually a clear indication that things / relationships are not working out. However, I was in constant denial that this lack of effort was actually more about me (a) not being interested (b) feeling obligated. So when somehow I was on the receiving end, I have decided, along with this 5 min rule, that I was going to streamline.

Because I could not find a better explanation for me making a journey and having someone tell me he/she could not meet because of some half-arsed excuse. Maybe it's karma for all the feng fei keis that I've done, but I'm glad in the meantime, I found people who mattered. 

These are some of the best decisions I have ever made - this pruning and the five minutes rule, along with my low tolerance for people who turn up only in need.

Meanwhiles, ingredients for a fabulous Friday: 

REITs, fish head, bkt, drive-thru, drums, cars, kopi-o ais, low traffic on the f1-bridge, all sorts of crabs, hell's kitchen, emerald hill, mojitos, HH dolls, alley bar, gollywogs, real fake goods, blackboards, streamlining, pretending to be PC phrases, low traffic on f1-bridge back. 

Closure

In my walkabout, I find myself having to shed the familiarities that people expect of me, the way I spoke, reacted, walked, dressed. I have moved on, somehow, and the things that I used to enjoy no longer interest me. It appears not to make sense but I have taken on a different path some time ago and I no longer want to look back anymore. There was a story of how a group of people's decisions were affected by just one person. It just doesn't make sense because at the end of it, then what? 

5 mins

Of late my patience have deteriorated, or rather I have learnt to appreciate myself more, i.e. I suffer no whines! (Even though that's what I'm doing here). I no longer tolerate trivial pursuits of how the universe is out to get you, and make it a point now that I don't complain. 

No more weather too hot, too cold, too far to walk, too late, too rainy, too fast, too slow, how now? How come? Should have. 

Rather now, weather too hot? stay out of the sun, weather too cold? wear an extra jacket, too far to walk? cab! too late? Run. You get the drift. 

All the whining etc will not throw the sun out of its solar system or make it hide behind the clouds, autumn is here so temperature's falling, it's nature! How can anyone spend time talking about something one can't change? 

Change yourself, move on, find a solution! 

easter break

I'm excited about going home, to see the 3 boys, them screaming across MSN is simply not good enough! 

The pace has been rather good, so far, not the best, but improving, and I have dropped the extra subject that I had originally wanted to do so that I could focus on my core subjects. I didn't think I could give my all in it. Already sustainability, REITs and trust accounting are all that I can think about nowadays, in between the gazillion things I want to do in a week's time: 

play with the nephews, bak kut teh, eclipse clothes, beef noodles, hair straightening, colouring, facial, massage, shoes, play with the nephews, drive, meet up with friends, bags, earrings, club, play with nephew. 

note the recurring items. 

Yo-Yo Ma on Bach´s Cello Suite No. 1

I first heard this watching The West Wing, where Yo-Yo Ma played in a scene where Bradley Whitford's character was suffering from post-trauma stress and broke a glass at some point (Yes, I love the show, the pace, the walk-talk scenes of all the characters - it was my all-time favourite). There is no relation to this blog entry, but I go back to to this music when I needed to pause. 

I have too much on my plate again and I wonder if it was the right choice - but it has become a routine, going for classes in the morning, and then rushing off for classes at uni, and then just coming back exhausted, but excited at the amount of information and making up those years when I absolutely found no reason to walk to Uni.

Yes, it's out in the open, I am shaving off this huge chip of uni, and stop losing all self in those senseless debates of what's right or wrong. 

There I've finally said it. 

pet peeves

I'm perpetually indecisive, and then I hear it from another person's mouth and it just peeves me and I swear to rid myself of this habit. 

'I don't mind', 'anything', 'whatever', only to find out later that it is exactly the opposite to whatever it was said earlier. The worst is 'everything'. For e.g. I eat everything, and only to find out later that there are categories of food that are not eaten. Why didn't you say earlier then? 

So next time, be as specific as possible, it saves a whole load of time and energy. 

Post

Australian Post officer to me: 'Your package is more interesting.' 

And so begins my journey of wine and dine, okay, this is an expensive new hobby.  

My first box of home-delivered wine. Woo hoos. 

NSW Wine Sydney Cellar Door

What a way to start the new month, being insanely happy! 

Alcohol-induced as my housemate and I made our way through Hyde Park, tasting everything from Mudgee's Cabernet Sauvignon to Cowra's (where's that?) Chardonnay and then to the all so familiar Hunter Valley, and I find myself drawn to Verdelho, though missing Hastings River for this. Before anyone thinks I speak wine language, I don't, I was just happy tasting away and enjoying my peruvian chirozos along the way. 

I couldn't conceal the silly grin as I caught up for a cuppa with an old friend who's a wine expert. 

Autumn is here but it is just still sunny happy. 

Cities

A decade late, but I'm glad I've found it. 

It was what I had wanted to do, but never found the courage. 

Happy Lunar New Year!

What do a Malaysian, a Thai and a Vietnamese have in common? 

Lunar New Year! 

Somewhere over the rainbow

I've overdosed on vanilla coke and I'm thinking about Wizard of Oz and how it is that I am now here in the Land of Oz, really, seeking for a heart back, like Tinman. 

20.1.09 (US Eastern Time)

Excited, yes, elated, yes, inspired, yes. 

A word cloud depicting President Obama's inauguration speech

(Source: Sydney Morning Herald, 21 Jan 09)

My favourite line: 'we will extend a hand if you are willing to unclench your fist.' 

Read the speech here. 

My alter ego

I've always thought tiramisu is so damn hard, but i've made it, taste aside, it is possible, it took walking down the aisle of woolsworth @ townhall looking for sponge fingers, it finally took a woolsworth guy telling me what mascarpone is, it took the liquorland dude telling me which fortified wine is good enough, it took using tissue to filter the coffee, it took speaking to the lady at the deli, asking 'are you greek or italian' and then her telling me 'i'm greek but my brother in law is italian and he uses brandy, marsala is not good'. And so now, my new mission in life: 

Making the perfect tiramisu.

The Curious Case of Benjamin Button

Loved the show, my friend did mention before hand that it somehow ran parallel to Forrest Gump, well, yes and no, it's about love lost and found, and detracted from the original story, so I found out through wikipedia. 

How is it possible for someone to live their whole life for the well being of someone else? 

Photos later, but walked through Hickson Road through to Walsh Bay and discovered the Sydney Dance Company with Kylie Minogue's backup giving master class, and as eager participants queue for the class I cannot help and think how hopeful these girls were. 

The death and life of great american cities

The book i'm reading now by Jane Jacobs and I'm already blown away by the dedication. 

'the new york city where I came to seek my fortune and found it by finding Bob, Jimmy, Ned and Mary for whom this book is written too.' 

Lately I have been addicted to 'How I met your mother' and the scene that killed me was Barney flying to SF to get Lily back and the next in him getting hit by a bus for rushing to see Ted who was hospitalised. 

Anyways, my favourite quote today: While you are looking, you might as well also listen, linger and think about what you see. 

Happy New Year

Ingredients for a fabulous new year's eve celebration

geelong.bbq.balinese.chillis.kitchen.friends.rocketsalad.skewers.champagne.wine.fruitsalad.mussels.stickydatepudding.tiggergettinglost.spa.countdown.texasholdem.pistachios.zuchinni.polarisingfood.topgear.rocketsalad.sausages.hardwords.buble.pig'sears(fortigger).picnicblanket.hats.